Navigating a New Jersey divorce can be emotionally challenging and even financially draining. With this duly noted, you must be vigilant to avoid giving away your power during the marital dissolution process. Unnecessarily (even dangerously) relinquishing your power in a New Jersey divorce can have dire and long-lasting consequences. These include everything from agreeing to unfair asset and debt division to losing child custody. There are a number of time-tested tactics you should consider employing to better ensure that you stay empowered and protect your rights during a New Jersey marriage dissolution case.
Understand New Jersey’s Divorce Laws and Recognize What You Don’t Know
Knowledge is your first line of defense in a divorce. For example, New Jersey utilizes what is known as equitable distribution or division standard when it comes to marital assets and debts (and who gets what). Under the equitable division of property standard, assets and debts are divided in a manner that is deemed just and equitable under the facts and circumstances of a particular case. You need to bear in mind that equitable does not mean equally. Courts consider a variety of factors that include:
- The marriage’s duration
- Each spouse’s earning capacity
- Contributions to the marriage
Child custody decisions hinge on another judicial standard used in a New Jersey marriage dissolution case. This is the best interests of the child standard. In basic terms, the best interests of the child standard keeps the focus on the child’s well being above other issues when it comes to matters like custody, parenting time, and support.
Avoid Making Decisions Driven by Emotion
Divorce understandable oftentimes trigger significant emotions that include:
- Anger
- Guilt
- Grief
- Shame
Emotion-driven or impulsive decisions can cost you. For instance, agreeing to surrender the family home out of guilt or rushing to finalize the divorce to allow you the opportunity to “move on” more quickly can (and likely will) result in decisions that you end up regretting.
There are some specific tactics to employ to avoid emotion-driven decisions:
- Pause before signing agreements. For example, take 24 to 48 hours to review terms and conditions
- Seek therapy or support groups to process emotions separately from legal strategy
- Use neutral third parties, like mediators, to facilitate calm negotiations
Always keep in mind that courts enforce settlements once finalized. Therefore, you must ensure your choices align with long-term goals.
Safeguard Your Financial Future Proactively
Financial transparency is critical. Start by gathering documents: tax returns, bank statements, retirement accounts, and debt records. New Jersey requires full disclosure, but hidden assets sometimes may be lurking. Consider hiring a forensic accountant if you suspect dishonesty on the part of your spouse.
There are some tips to consider when it comes to protecting your financial future:
- Open individual bank accounts and monitor joint accounts to prevent sudden withdrawals
- Understand the tax implications of asset splits—retirement accounts may require a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO)
- Consult a financial planner to model post-divorce budgets and asset scenarios
- Never agree to terms of a settlement agreement without a complete financial picture
Establish Firm Boundaries with Your Spouse
Boundaries matter during marriage and during divorce. Contentious interactions with your spouse can derail negotiations. Set clear boundaries to avoid manipulation or heated arguments that might be against you during divorce proceedings.
A number of strategies prove effective when it comes to setting and maintaining boundaries during a New Jersey marriage dissolution case:
- Use written communication for accountability
- Limit discussions to logistics and defer legal talks to attorneys
- Document harassing behavior as it can impact such things as restraining orders or custody or parenting time determinations
Keep in mind that staying business-like protects your mental health and legal position.
Choose a Lawyer Who Empowers You, Not Undermines You
The approach used by an attorney to your case absolutely does matter. A skilled New Jersey divorce lawyer will explain options without pressuring you into quick decisions, including settlements.
Red flags to be aware of when it comes to legal counsel:
- Lawyers who dismiss your concerns
- Lawyers who push you to concede without exploration
- Lawyers who seem to lack familiarity with local courts or recent NJ case law
When seeking legal representation, seriously consider taking the time to interview multiple attorneys. Ask them about their negotiation style. If you have questions concerning protecting your rights in a New Jersey divorce, call the Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen today at (201) 845-7400 for a free consultation.