MEETING OPTIONS DURING THE CORONAVIRUS: The Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen understands your concerns regarding the spread of the Coronavirus, and now offers different meeting options to our clients and those seeking legal representation. All meetings, including initial consultations, can be handled either through the phone, FaceTime, Zoom, or in person.

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Divorces are difficult and emotionally draining. Noting these realities, it is also understandable that many couples would like to try to find ways to avoid the costs associated with the traditional New Jersey divorce process. Some people attempt to pursue what oftentimes is called a do-it-yourself divorce. The stark reality is that not retaining the assistance of experienced legal counsel in a New Jersey divorce can have some significantly negative potential consequences.

There are five more commonplace dangers associated with a do-it-yourself divorce that could have long term consequences for you:

  • Making uninformed decisions
  • Inability to enforce court orders
  • Problems establishing residency requirements
  • Missing important paperwork
  • Lack of advocacy

Making Uninformed Decisions

Without proper legal advice or understanding of relevant laws, couples attempting a divorce on your own may make decisions that cost them more in the long run. Decisions regarding property division, child support, alimony payments and other vital matters should be made after careful consideration of all available options by those who understand the law and its implications. Continue Reading →

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It is almost a cliché to state that divorce is hard on children. The reason it is something of a cliché is because divorce and children is a challenging mix. There are specific ways in which parents can help their children maneuver successfully through the divorce process. There are five key strategies that parents can use as a means to support kids during the marriage dissolution process:

  • Maintain daily routines
  • Communicate with children in an age-appropriate manner
  • Appropriately reassure the kids
  • Keep children abreast of custody and parenting time issues
  • Listen to your kids

Maintain Daily Routines

A key strategy to employ to support your children during a divorce is to maintain preexisting daily routines whenever possible. The mere fact that you and your spouse are divorcing already serves to upend many elements of your family life. You provide an added level of stability to the lives of your children by maintaining some of the basic routines that you enjoyed before your New Jersey marriage dissolution started. Examples of daily routines include such simple things like:

  • Nightly dinner time
  • Attend religious services
  • Participating in afterschool activities
  • Other traditional family rituals and activities

Communicate with Children in an Age-Appropriate Manner

Regular and reliable communication between parent and child is always a must. Open, honest, regular communication becomes even more important when parents are divorcing.

When it comes to divorce and children, you need to make sure lines of communication remain open with your kids. A key element of divorce and children communication is to make sure that you speak with your kids using age-appropriate language. Depending on the age of your children, they will have different understandings of your divorce. Indeed, age and maturity level more generally dictate the manner in which your kids receive and process information. Continue Reading →

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If you are like most people heading towards or in the midst of a divorce, you have at least some type of social media presence. You may be on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or some other platform. You may also be like many individuals seeking a New Jersey divorce and not fully appreciate the potential interaction between social media and divorce.

There are a number of ways in which the opposition in a New Jersey marriage dissolution case may take advantage of our social media activities to your detriment. With this in mind, there are a number of matters you need to bear in mind when it comes to social media and divorce and opposing counsel in your case.

Your Social Media Activity as Evidence in Your Divorce Case

Be well aware that if you find yourself in the midst of a contested divorce, your spouse’s attorney is likely to consider your social media activity. The reality is that time and again people getting a divorce take major missteps to their detriment through their social media usage. In other words, when it comes to social media and divorce, opposition attorneys are able to mine evidence from social media platforms that can then be used as evidence in the marriage dissolution proceedings.

A key point to keep in mind is that you may not even realize you have posted something detrimental to your position in your divorce case when you put it up. Creative lawyers can find evidence on your social media platforms that seems on the surface to be unthreatening to your positions in your New Jersey marriage dissolution case. Continue Reading →

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The end of your marriage has the potential for a certain amount of financial confusion, even financial turmoil. Even if you feel you obtained a fair settlement or judgment in your New Jersey marriage dissolution case, you may still have some issues related to divorce finances. There are a trio of keyways in which you can handle your finances following a New Jersey divorce.

You Must Take Budgeting Seriously

A good percentage of married couples admit that they are not particularly diligent when it comes to regularly making and keeping to a budget. In some instances, the failure to budget may seem like it did not have a huge impact on your financial status while you were married.

When you divorce, you need to become far more serious about budgeting. The fact is that your financial status likely will or has changed because of the end of your marriage. And such an alteration very well may mean that you have less money coming in. With less money available, the necessity of budgeting seriously becomes highly serious and needs to be a priority in your life.

The bottom line is that you cannot follow what really is common practice among people across the country. That is taking some time to come up with a budget but not making a commitment to follow it. Continue Reading →

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For nearly everyone in New Jersey and across the United States, the use of different types of technology is ubiquitous. Many New Jersey marriage dissolution lawyers will tell you that technology of different types has contributed to more than a few couples seeking divorce. There exist a variety of ways in which technology potentially can and actually does harm marriages. Some of the more commonplace types of situations are explored in this article. Bear in mind that this is just an overview of some of the negative effects of the overuse and misuse of technology.

Rob a Married Couple of Valuable Time Spent Together

Perhaps the most frequently occurring way in which technology can have harmful effects on a marriage is robbing a couple of time together. Time and again, technology of different types can be found significantly occupying the time of one or both spouses, ultimately limiting time spent between the married couple themselves.

The typical course is for one or both spouses to gradually spend what ultimately becomes a damaging amount of time with some type of technology or device. Some describe it as putting a frog in water in which the temperature is gradually ratcheted up. The frog ends up dying in extremely hot water, not extracting itself from the situation until it is too late. Continue Reading →

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A trend that is becoming more evident in New Jersey divorce cases is that of collaborative parenting. Collaborative parenting is a set of tactics and strategies by which divorcing and divorced parents undertake their duties and exercise their rights as parents in a truly cooperative manner. This type of parenting is designed to foster a healthier environment for children during divorce proceedings and once a marriage dissolution case has concluded. There are a trio of primary collaborative parenting tactics that need to be borne in mind in order to better guarantee the prospect that this type of co-parenting effort will succeed:

  • Separate your feelings from behavior
  • Keep children out of the fray
  • Enhance communication with other parent

Separate Feelings from Behavior

Emotions can present significant challenges when it comes to parenting in the aftermath of a divorce. Human beings by their very nature are emotionally driven in many circumstances. This particularly can prove to be the case when parents are dealing with matters associated with their children following the end of a marriage. Continue Reading →

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You may be like many people who would like to take their children on a vacation out of the state of New Jersey following a divorce. When it comes to children after divorce, there really is nothing at all unusual about an out of state vacation. With that in mind, there are some points to bear in mind when it comes to planning an out of state vacation with children after divorce:

  • Understand terms of divorce decree
  • Begin discussions with other parent early
  • Destinations matter
  • Length of time matters
  • Consider a written vacation plan
  • Arrange for appropriate virtual connections between children and other parent

Understand Divorce Decree

When planning out of state travel with children after divorce, the first step in the process is to make sure that you understand what is and is not permitted pursuant to the terms of the marriage dissolution decree. For example, a New Jersey divorce decree may have some specific travel requirements, particular restrictions, and a pre-trip process that needs to be filed when considering an out of state vacation.

Commence Vacation Discussions Early

Open, reliable communication is important when it comes to addressing issues involving children in a post-divorce world. This certainly is the case when it comes to a parent who desires to take a child or children out of state for a vacation following the end of a marriage. By beginning discussions about an out of state vacation with the kids on a proactive basis, any potential issues can be identified early on and hopefully addressed to the satisfaction of all involved. Continue Reading →

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Steps-to-Grieving-a-Divorce-300x199

Several divorce therapists and other experts have determined that there oftentimes are seven steps associated with grief and divorce. This is based on the long-used stages of grief and loss paradigm long used regarding death and dying and other losses. The seven steps or stages of grief and divorce are:

  • Denial
  • Pain
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Guilt
  • Depression
  • Acceptance

Bear in mind that the seven stages of grief and divorce discussed here do not necessarily happen in the sequence in which they are presented in this article. In addition, there are instances in which a person may experience one of these states more than one time. It is also possible for a person to experience more than one of these stages simultaneously.

Denial

Typically, an initial stage experienced by some people (but not all) who face divorce is denial. A person in this stage cannot believe that his or her marriage is ending. Denial may be evident more often in the mind of the person who is being sued for divorce as opposed to the individual that filed the case. With that said, an individual who is the person who files a divorce complaint may also experience denial even if he or she initiated the marriage dissolution case in the first instance.

Continue Reading →

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One of the most challenging aspects of parents making the decision to end their marriage is finding the best way to tell their children of their intentions. Parents understandably want to limit the emotional impact divorce has on children whenever possible. Nonetheless, issues surrounding children and divorce are complex and fraught with the possibility for challenges. With all of this in mind, there are some tactics to consider employing when it comes to how you tell your children about your decision to divorce.

Establish a Unified Front as Parents

Co-parenting is word that you will hear or read with some regularity when it comes to a divorce involving children. You and your spouse need to find a way to co-parent going forward into the future in order to protect the best interests of your children.

An ideal time to begin the process of co-parenting is when you inform your children that you have made a decision to divorce. If at all possible, you and your spouse should discuss the decision to seek a marriage dissolution together. The wellbeing of your children is better served if both parents share in communicating the decision to divorcer with their offspring. Continue Reading →

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High-asset or high net worth divorces have historically been those in which more than $1 million in liquid assets are involved. Given the skyrocketing values of property in recent years, simply owning a modest home in certain cities may be enough to technically qualify as a high-asset divorce. However, the typical high-asset divorce today involves multi-million-dollar property ownership.

The issues in a high-asset divorce are the same as in any divorce. Property and debts must be divided, alimony may be considered, and where children are involved, child support, custody, and visitation need to be addressed. The issue that usually makes high asset divorces more difficult, costly, and time-consuming is property division.

Spouses in high net worth divorces may own multiple properties or businesses, have investments, intellectual property, stocks, retirement accounts, and valuable items of personal property such as artwork, furniture, jewelry, and vehicles. There may be issues involving deferred compensation, stock voting rights, and real estate or business partnerships that can prove difficult to sort out. Continue Reading →

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