New Jersey Divorce Lawyer Blog
Divorce is a painful experience that nobody wants to face, but there are ways to make the process easier on yourself. As you go through your divorce in NJ, remember these six keys that can help hold you together during this emotionally challenging time.
Get healthy.
Don’t allow yourself to ignore your physical health during your divorce. It can be tempting to retire to the sofa with a carton of ice cream, but you owe it to yourself to fight the urge. You can help yourself tremendously by eating right, getting plenty of sleep and keeping up with a regular exercise routine.
Pull in your friends.
Now is not the time to isolate yourself. Turn to your best friends, your family or anyone else who is part of your support group. Make plans to meet friends for dinner or shopping, or just ask someone to come over and hang out. You need to spend time with people who lift you up.
Keep kids a priority.
It’s important to remember that children are not always open and clear about their feelings. If you have children, you need to spend plenty of time making sure that they are okay. Divorce in NJ can hurt kids if it’s not handled properly, and sometimes kids hide their fears and anxieties. If you can, get your kids into a counseling program just to make sure they aren’t suffering.
Walk away from arguments.
Don’t waste time fighting with your ex. If you find that you can’t communicate with your former spouse, then try to talk as little as possible. If you have to discuss the kids, stick to that topic. If you are talking to your ex and things start to get ugly, don’t be afraid to leave the conversation.
Negotiate if possible.
If you are able to communicate effectively with your former spouse, get as much of the negotiation work out of the way on your own. If the two of you can work out a custody arrangement, a child support plan, division of property and other issues, it’s better for you to do it yourselves than to hand it over to the court.Courts are unpredictable, and you never know what a judge might order. Remember that the more you fight about, the more money you are giving to your attorney. Working it out yourselves makes sense in the long run.
Avoid making big changes.
You might be feeling an urge to start life over, but be careful about making big life decisions while you are still recovering emotionally from the split. A new job, a new home or even a move across the country might be exactly what you need. Just give yourself some time to think it through before you act.
Grieve for your dreams.
Divorce in New Jersey is a loss, and you are going to go through a grieving process just as if someone you love has passed. It’s OK to grieve for the life you thought you were going to have and even for the spouse you thought you had married. Your life has suddenly changed in some overwhelming ways. Go ahead and take time to be sad for what you’re missing.
Going through a divorce is a mentally draining process that can be incredibly stressful. Be kind to yourself, doing whatever you can to keep yourself feeling steady. Keep looking ahead and reminding yourself that there is a light at the end of this tunnel, and one day, you will get past this time. If you have any questions about divorce in NJ, call the Law Offices Peter Van Aulen at (201) 845-7400 for a free initial consultation.
