While divorce can be a traumatic experience for some, for others it can be quite liberating. Before separating, you might have tried everything to save your marriage, and in the process realized that divorce was the best option. While “until death do us part” might not have worked out, don’t let divorce ruin your life.
Try Something New
Perhaps the first thing to do is to make a clean break with the past. Move into a different house or apartment, with different furniture and decorations. Get rid of everything that reminds you of what once was. If possible, move to a different city.
Give Yourself Time After Your Divorce
Whether the divorce was sudden or you saw it coming, give yourself time to adjust. There will be good days when you are positive you did the right thing and can make it on your own, and there will be days filled with memories that might bring you to tears. It’s normal to feel like that, but you won’t feel down or doubtful forever.
If you had a loving spouse before your relationship went wrong, you might look more favorably on a new partner as opposed to if you were in an abusive relationship or were cheated on. Either way, jumping into a new relationship might not be the best idea. Give yourself time to think and time to adjust.
Accept that it will take weeks or even months to rebuild your life. Get used to being on your own and take this time to discover yourself all over again. Take up a hobby or enroll in a class for continued education. Give your hands and your mind something to do.
Friend or Foe
At the same time, if at all possible, stay friends with your ex. For the sake of the children, it’s often better to have your ex as an ally rather than an enemy. If you can’t stand the sight of him, that’s okay, you didn’t divorce him because you were so fond of him.
If you feel you can’t handle being alone, reach out to others. Seek out family and friends for support or even a shoulder to cry on. If, on the other hand, those near and dear to you bring you down or make you feel guilty, avoid them for a while.
Know that you are far from alone in your current situation. If you need help, talk to a therapist or join a support group.
Should you start to feel depressed, take yourself to task. If ever there was a time to spoil yourself with a new outfit or cute shoes, now would be it. While you’re at it, make an appointment with your stylist and have your hair trimmed, colored or go for a whole new do. The better you look, the better you will feel.
Heal From the Inside Out
Instead of indulging in comfort food, which might pile on the pounds, pay attention to your diet. What you eat, or rather what your diet lacks, can be of influence on your mental health. Feel good foods are lean meat, low-fat dairy products, nuts, and fish. Fish such as salmon, tuna, herring, trout, and sardines have plenty of Omega-3s which effectively deal with mood swings.
Have a piece of dark chocolate with your coffee or tea. Dark chocolate is not only an antioxidant, it’s good for the heart and blood vessels and has a positive effect on the brain.
Even though divorce meant the end of your marriage, it doesn’t you can’t be happy again. Don’t let divorce ruin your life, in many ways your life is just beginning. You’re single again, you can do whatever you like, whenever you feel like it. You’re free, life is out there, go live it. If you have any questions in regard to the legal aspects of New Jersey divorce, call the Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen at (201) 845-7400, who are experienced NJ divorce attorneys, for a free 30 minute in office consultation