New Jersey Divorce Lawyer Blog
Many people with children considering a New Jersey divorce have many questions. A good many of these queries tend to center on issues surrounding children in divorce. If you find yourself in such a position, one area in which you may have questions is about parallel parenting. We present for your consideration and assistance 20 of the key FAQs about parallel parenting for your consideration.
- What is parallel parenting?
The most basic question concerning parallel parenting necessitates an initial response. Parallel parenting is a parenting arrangement used when parents have what is described as high conflict. Each parent cares for the child independently during their parenting time, with minimal interaction between parents overall.
- How is parallel parenting different from co-parenting?
Co-parenting requires frequent communication and shared decision-making. As noted, because of the state of the relationship between parents, parallel parenting minimizes communication and allows each parent to make day-to-day decisions without ongoing coordination.
- When is parallel parenting recommended?
As was also noted a moment ago, parallel parenting in New Jersey oftentimes is recommended when conflict is persistent, communication breaks down, or interactions regularly escalate negatively.
- Does parallel parenting mean parents never communicate?
No, that is a fairly persistent misperception. Communication still occurs when necessary. However, communication is limited, structured, and oftentimes takes place in writing (email or parenting apps) to reduce conflict between parents and misunderstandings.
- Is parallel parenting good for children?
While not necessarily ideal (co-parenting is the gold star), it is best for children when higher levels of conflict between parents exist. What you need to understand about parallel parenting is that it shields children from adult disputes and allows them to have stable, predictable relationships with each parent. It prevents children from being caught in the middle of disputes between parents.
- Who makes decisions in a parallel parenting plan?
Major decisions (such as education and medical care) may be shared or assigned by court order. Each parent makes routine decisions when children are with that individual.
- What communication tools are commonly used?
Parents often use co-parenting apps, email, or written schedules. Phone calls and in-person discussions are usually avoided unless absolutely necessary.
- Can parallel parenting evolve into co-parenting?
Yes, that is possible – and a reasonable objective. If conflict decreases over time and communication improves, some families gradually transition to a more cooperative co-parenting model.
- What are common rules in a parallel parenting plan?
Plans typically include:
- Strict schedules
- Neutral exchange locations
- No negative talk about the other parent
- Clear boundaries around communication and decision-making
- Is parallel parenting ordered by courts?
Yes, New Jersey courts may order parallel parenting when traditional co-parenting is not working and continuous conflict exists.
- How are parenting time exchanges handled in parallel parenting?
Exchanges are typically structured, brief, and neutral – at least as much as is possible. Many plans use public locations, schools, or third parties to reduce direct interaction between parents.
- What happens if one parent violates the parallel parenting plan?
Violations may be addressed through documentation, mediation, or court intervention. This all depends on the severity and frequency of violations. Clear parallel parenting plans aid courts identify noncompliance.
- Are children allowed to communicate freely with both parents?
Yes, children should be able to communicate freely with either parent during reasonable times. These communications should not be monitored nor children should be used as messengers for one parent or another.
- How does parallel parenting handle school and extracurricular activities?
Each parent supports activities during their own parenting time. Attendance at shared events may be staggered or managed carefully to avoid conflict between parents
- Can new partners or spouses be involved in parallel parenting?
Yes, but boundaries are important. Boundaries must be very clear. New partners should not interfere with the parenting plan. In the same vein, communication should remain directly between the parents themselves.
- How are holidays and vacations managed?
Parallel parenting plans usually include detailed holiday and vacation schedules. This is designed to minimize disputes, often alternating holidays or assigning fixed traditions to each parent.
- Does parallel parenting require professional supervision?
Not necessarily. Some families benefit from parenting coordinators, mediators, or therapists. But many others manage independently – with a clear parallel parenting plan.
- How does parallel parenting address different parenting styles?
Different rules and routines are expected. As long as the child is safe and supported, consistency across households is less important than reducing conflict between parents.
- What role do parenting apps play in parallel parenting?
Parenting apps help centralize communication, schedules, and records, creating transparency and reducing emotionally charged exchanges.
- Is parallel parenting a sign of failure?
No, parallel parenting is not a sign of failure. It really is a protective strategy designed to prioritize the child’s emotional health when cooperation is not currently possible between parents.
If you have any additional questions about parallel parenting, if you are in need of experienced legal representations, contact the Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen at 201-845-7400. You can schedule a no cost, no obligation initial consultation at your convenience.
