A trend that is becoming more evident in New Jersey divorce cases is that of collaborative parenting. Collaborative parenting is a set of tactics and strategies by which divorcing and divorced parents undertake their duties and exercise their rights as parents in a truly cooperative manner. This type of parenting is designed to foster a healthier environment for children during divorce proceedings and once a marriage dissolution case has concluded. There are a trio of primary collaborative parenting tactics that need to be borne in mind in order to better guarantee the prospect that this type of co-parenting effort will succeed:
- Separate your feelings from behavior
- Keep children out of the fray
- Enhance communication with other parent
Separate Feelings from Behavior
Emotions can present significant challenges when it comes to parenting in the aftermath of a divorce. Human beings by their very nature are emotionally driven in many circumstances. This particularly can prove to be the case when parents are dealing with matters associated with their children following the end of a marriage.
Understanding human nature, a key to effective parenting that is collaborative is to be able to keep emotions in check as much as possible. By doing so, the behavior of parents in regard to matters associated with their children can be more effective and productive. Tension between parents can be lessened, which results in more civil conduct between them. Ultimately, the best interests of children during and after a divorce are well served when parents are able to control unnecessary emotional outbreaks and conduct themselves in a manner that is civil if not quite friendly.
Keep Children Away from Conflict
When it comes to effective parenting that is collaborative, another key element is to keep children out of and away from conflict. This needs to occur in a number of different ways.
First, children should never be used as tools in arguments between parents. For example, a child should be used as a conduit between parents who are disagreeing over some issue.
Second, children should not be turned into bargaining chips between divorcing or divorced parents. In other words, threats of interfering with the other parent’s rights to and relationship with the children should not be made.
Finally, children should not be exposed to parents engaged in fights or other argumentative situations. Nothing good comes from a situation in which children are forced to witness their parents fight or argue.
Enhance Communication with Other Parent
At the very heart of collaborative work as parents is consistently effective communication between parents and between parents and children. In the absence of effective communication within the family unit during and after divorce proceedings, a collaborative effort to parent is not possible.
There are times when divorcing parents might want to consider obtaining professional assistance when it comes to developing and enhancing communication between themselves and with their children. Obtaining professional guidance in this area is a solid investment to ensure a healthy situation for all members of a family during and in the aftermath of a marriage dissolution case.
When it comes to enhanced communication, you need to consistently be cognizant of the tone of your voice. This is particularly the case when communicating via the telephone and not face to face.
As an aside, when it comes to enhancing communication with the other parent, consider turning to a trusted friend or family member if you need to vent about something or another. If you establish a connection with someone that you can effectively vent your frustrations and emotions to you, odds are increased that you will “blow up” in a conversation with the other parent.
Collaborative Parenting, Divorce, and Your Legal Rights
If you have made the decision to seek a divorce, the next step is to schedule a free initial consultation . with a capable, experienced New Jersey divorce lawyer. You can schedule an initial appointment and case evaluation by calling the Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen at (201) 845-7400. A New Jersey divorce attorney from the Law Offices of Peter Van Aulen can meet with you at your convenience.