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When it comes to ending your marriage, divorce ranks right up there with getting your wisdom teeth pulled out. As author Mary Kay Blakely once said, “Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass.”

If children are involved, you may be in store for a lengthy adjustment period. Divorce and children are difficult to navigate. Learning to keep the peace would do wonders for both sides. Of course, that is easier said than done. Nonetheless, here are 10 tips for recently divorced couples who have children together:

1) Come up with a schedule, and stick to it

Remember, children thrive on routine and consistency. Your custody arrangement should take into account your children’s ages, the activities they’re involved in, and your work and personal schedule. Of course, there are times when life gets in the way, and you need to change things up a bit, which leads to the second tip.

2) When comes to divorce and children learn to say “yes!”

Does your ex-spouse need to tweak the schedule occasionally? Do they want to take the kids to see their parents during what is supposed to be your Christmas? If the other household’s requests are not unreasonable, then accommodating them could go a long way toward building up goodwill between the two families. In a perfect world, your ex will be just as accommodating and reasonable when you need some help. Whether that happens when the time comes is not the point, which is to create a happier, healthier environment for your children. Continue Reading →

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It is becoming frequently common for couples to have children outside the marital relationship, for a multitude of reasons. Part of it has to do with delaying marriage – part of it has to do with the relaxing of stricter moral or religious codes regarding sex prior to marriage. Regardless, when children are born outside the marriage, both parents still have a duty to care and support their children. However, there are certain New Jersey custody laws for unmarried parents that these individuals should be aware of in order to preserve their parental rights.

Establishing Parental Rights

The mother is always presumed to be the mother of the child, whether married or not. But for fathers, the New Jersey custody laws for unmarried parents include a requirement to establish paternity before any orders can be issued concerning custody, visitation or support. There is a multitude of ways unmarried parents can establish paternity. If the parties never marry, then the father will need to sign a voluntary acknowledgment of paternity. A certificate of parentage can establish paternity and can be executed at the hospital during the child’s birth. The parents will need to meet with a birth certificate coordinator who will explain the provisions and significance of the form. Then, they will need to present valid identification and fill out the certificate. Their signatures must then be witnessed by the coordinator. Of course, if the parents do not fill out the form at the hospital, it can be completed later at either a local registrar’s office or county welfare agency.

He can also file a lawsuit to establish paternity, where a court will determine that he is the father. The couple can marry shortly after the child is born and sign a legitimization form, or the father can agree to his name put on the birth certificate and agrees to support the child. The father can also welcome the child into his home and openly hold out the child as his own. However, it is also best to get a court order or acknowledgment of paternity on file to get rid of any question as to the paternity of the child.  Continue Reading →

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The child support guidelines of New Jersey are designed to provide consistency and certainty in family law matters. There is sometimes conflict between the parents, particularly if the parent paying child support believes that the recipient spouse is using that child support for frivolous things, like shopping trips or vacations. But the truth is, if the recipient parent is covering the essentials and expenses required by law, they can spend their money on whatever else they want. So, what does child support cover in NJ?

This question is basically asking, what does the child support I receive (or pay) cover, and what should be the other party’s responsibility to cover? It is important to understand what does child support cover in NJ to appropriately budget and ensure the child is taken care of. The guidelines apply to parents who earn a combined net income of up to $187,200.00. Any couples who exceed this amount will still have the guidelines applied, but an additional amount can be added, depending on multiple factors set forth under the child support statute.

Of course, child support covers the basics: food, clothing, and shelter are of course non-negotiable expenses when raising children. Food should be healthy and keep the children at an appropriate weight, but it does not necessarily allow regular meals at a fancy steak restaurant (unless the lifestyle of the child prior to the divorce incorporated these kinds of meals with some frequency). That is because if the parents can afford it, the court will consider the lifestyle to which the child had been accustomed to prior to the dissolution of the marriage when rendering child support orders. Clothing is another expense included in the calculation – which is a huge category. Clothing includes shoes, diapers, winter clothing, and accessories. It also includes maintenance of the clothing, such as cleaning sports uniforms or dance costumes. However, sports footwear is not included in the calculation. Shelter includes everything from the mortgage, rental payments, and utilities to keep a comfortable roof over the head of the children. If you are starting to think that some of these expenses are arbitrary, you would be correct.  That’s why the question, ‘what does child support cover in NJ’ is so commonly asked by parents involved in a family law matter.  Continue Reading →

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It is an unfortunate fact of life that when relationships go sour, some parents cannot set aside their own pain. Instead, they prevent the children they have with the other parent from developing a meaningful relationship with the other parent. Sometimes, parents will not have access to their child for years due to the actions of the other parent. In these cases, reunification therapy is a good option to help ease the child into a meaningful relationship with their mom or dad.

The goal is to reintroduce the parent and child so that they can continue to build a relationship, and also to prevent any further cleaving of the bond. If the court orders reunification therapy in a family law case, then a therapist will be appointed to help counsel each party. Ultimately, successful reunification therapy means that the court can order visitation.

Children who have been separated from their parents are more likely to face emotional distress or difficulty in adjusting. They often exhibit self-hatred, low self-esteem, aggression, and lack remorse or guilt. Therefore, reunification therapy aims to ensure the child has the best possible chance to work through the issues they might feel with an absentee parent. Continue Reading →

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Raising teenagers is a challenge on its own. Chances are your teen is already dealing with school issues, dating, hormones, and emotions that seem to change every minute. If you and your partner have decided to separate, it’s crucial that you talk with your teen as soon as possible about the divorce. This way, your child has time to process what’s happening. While it might make more sense to wait until the divorce is final, the truth is that your child likely already knows something is wrong or different at home. Sitting down and talking with your child will help provide stability, comfort, and understanding. Here are some suggestions on how to explain divorce to a teenager.

Sit down as a family

One of the most important things you can do for your child is to sit down as a family to tell your teen about the divorce. While you might not be on speaking terms with your spouse, it’s essential that you present a united front for your child. Sitting down together ensures you both know what you’re telling your child about the cause of the divorce. That also enables you to address any concerns or questions your child has at this time. Many children, even teenagers, feel unloved and afraid when they discover their parents are separating. Talk with your partner ahead of time and decide how you’re going to tell your child about the divorce. Then the three of you should sit down and have a long, honest, and open discussion about how your lives are going to change. Continue Reading →

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Divorce is rarely an easy thing for the children, no matter their age. While those still living at home often have to deal with being ferried between parents and at times living with a new stepparent, dealing with the dissolving of your parents’ marriage as an adult is not easy either. There are at least five things you should do as an adult if your mom and dad get divorced.

Avoid Being Caught in the Middle

As an adult, your relationship with your parents is likely different from your childhood relationship with them. You may have become more of a friend or confidant rather than just their child. Because of this, it can be easy to get caught in the middle. One or both parents may try to complain to you about the other one. You may feel like you have to take sides. They may even try to use you as someone who relays messages to the other parent. With the exception of abuse or other related issues, you will likely want to try to maintain a healthy relationship with both parents. This means letting both of them know that you are not going to listen to them badmouthing the other one as well as telling them that you are not taking sides.

Set Boundaries

Boundaries may include the sort of things they can discuss with you. For example, you may want to hear about how your mother is having a great time dating a new guy, but you want her to keep the intimate details to herself. Boundaries may also include the amount of help you will provide. Maybe you are willing to teach Dad how to iron his work shirts, but you expect him to start doing it on his own after a few days. Continue Reading →

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Marriage counseling, or couple’s counseling, is a form of psychological therapy that seeks to deal with mental health issues, or other problems, stemming from a relationship between two people. The idea is that both parties will attend counseling as a means to elaborate upon the issues and the strain being caused between them. Ideally, they will learn how to solve their problems through the mediation of a professionally-trained counselor or therapist.

The marriage counseling statistics indicate that couples attend therapy for any number of reasons. Arguments, abuse – both physical and emotional, loss of love or other feelings, parenting troubles, resentment, and problems with affectionate or sexual intimacy are all common reasons for attending couple’s therapy.

In the United States, couple’s therapy data reports an overwhelming satisfaction rate for this form of counseling. The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists reports that 98 percent of couples surveyed felt they had received excellent therapy. Over 90 percent claimed they received the care that they needed and felt ready to tackle their marital or couple’s problems. Continue Reading →

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New Jersey courts often grapple with the issue of domestic violence within family law cases. Judges often err on the side of caution in these cases, but this can lead to a judge overstepping their authority. `The case MC v GT demonstrates such a failure on the part of a judge, and more explicitly outlines the NJ restraining order requirements when relationships become physically violent. The appellate court appears to emphasize the necessity of an unequivocal finding of domestic violence before a judge can issue a restraining order unless there are other pending family matters at hand.

MC had been dating GT for a little while at the time she filed a complaint against him under New Jersey’s Prevention of Domestic Violence Act. At trial, the judge ultimately concluded there was not sufficient evidence to support a finding of domestic violence, and noted reservations about each party’s credibility with the court. The judge specifically held that MC failed to prove that GT acted “with a purpose to alarm or annoy.” Despite these findings, the judge decided to enter a restraining order against GT, citing her equitable powers. GT appealed, arguing that the judge exceeded her authority in issuing the restraining order.

On appeal, the court focused solely on the judge’s assertion that her equitable authority allowed her to issue a restraining order, even though she found insufficient evidence of domestic violence. The appellate court entertained a discussion as to what the NJ restraining order requirements are. The judge at the trial level relied on another appellate case, PJG v PSS. In this case, there were two cross-complaints, with each party accusing the other of domestic violence. The man proved his claim against the woman and so the judge ordered restraints. However, the judge found no evidence of domestic violence against the woman. Similarly, he entered a restraining order against the man anyway. On appeal, the panel agreed that the Act will not “authorize entry of a final restraining order absent preponderating evidence that the defendant committed an act of domestic violence. However, the court also determined that without such an element, that a judge could still enter restraints under the judge’s ‘ample inherent power.’ Continue Reading →

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Chances are you never expected to go through a divorce. No one does. If you thought you were going to get divorced, you likely wouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. This makes going through a separation even more difficult. During a divorce, your emotions will be running high. You might feel anxious, stress, or shocked. You might feel betrayed. You might feel scared, alone, or isolated. No matter what you’re feeling, what you’re going through, or what you’re planning to do once the divorce is finalized, it’s important that you meet with a NJ divorce lawyer to help you through your divorce. The right New Jersey divorce lawyer will help you every step of the way. Instead of your divorce being a complete nightmare, your lawyer will help make things bearable and will ensure things go as smoothly as possible. Here’s what you need to know.

First off, an experienced NJ divorce lawyer understands all aspects of divorce and separation. Because divorce can be complex, it can be challenging to find out what your rights and responsibilities are. A divorce lawyer will be able to help you with this. Your New Jersey divorce lawyer will guide you through any paperwork you need to fill out and will tell you whether you need to appear in court or not. They’ll make sure all your paperwork is filed on time and if you need to serve papers to your former spouse, your lawyer will help you arrange this.

Your NJ divorce lawyer will also help with custody arrangements. If you and your partner share a child or children, it’s even more important that you have legal representation. Because there are different types of child custody, your New Jersey divorce lawyer will help make sure you and your child have the best possible outcome when it comes to determining physical and legal custody of your child. If joint custody is an option, your lawyer can also assist you in creating a parenting plan that meets the needs of you, your former spouse, and your child. Also, an experienced New Jersey divorce lawyer understands the alimony and child support laws in the state. He or she will be able to inform you what you are entitled to or what you are obligated to pay. Continue Reading →

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The New Jersey Division of Child Protection and Permanency (DCPP) carries a heavy burden in presenting a case as to whether or not a parent is engaged in abuse or neglect of a child. The case of the NJDCPP v. N.B., the mother of a minor child, was recently appealed after a trial court founds that the mother had abused or neglected her twelve-year-old son. There were various issues as to the weight and credibility of the evidence presented, which the appellate court grappled with before ultimately overruling the trial court.

Facts

It all started when the biological father of D.B., who had been living with the mother at the time, filed a complaint about the child’s mother. The mother and her boyfriend had gotten into an argument, where the mother had said: “she was going to harm herself one of these days.” The law enforcement officers reported that D.B. had phoned an aunt after his mother left him alone in their shared hotel room and he was scared. The aunt came to retrieve the child and let him stay at her home for a time until the father picked him up. The police reached out to the mother to conduct a welfare check after hearing this report. N.B. agreed that there had been an argument, and she went for a drive to cool down for a few hours. She left her son at the hotel because he did not want to go for a drive. She confirmed that when she said she was going to hurt herself, it was simply a figure of speech and she did not really mean it.

In subsequent interviews, D.B. reported several other comments his mother made within the same vein, such as the mother telling her boyfriend, “since we are all here, why don’t you drive off the bridge and kill us all.” He also told the DCPP that the fights between his mom and boyfriend had been physical in the past, and he was fearful on that day that his mother would ‘go off on him’ when she got back to the hotel room. The mother denied this, as well as denied any physical altercations between herself and her boyfriend, asserting that their arguments were only ever verbal. Despite of this, the DCPP removed D.B. from his mother’s custody and placed D.B. in possession of his father.  Continue Reading →

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