Child custody evaluations are often used by the court when the case has a highly contested custody matter before it. The evaluator is able to speak to both parties with an objective perspective, as well as the children, and as a result their opinion is very important to the judge.
Do all the Easy Stuff
The easy stuff is things that you should be doing that goes without saying: showing up on time to the child custody evaluation and dressing appropriately, for example. You should act like you’re going on a job interview. Do not lie to the evaluator. They will be able to catch you if you are dishonest, and they usually have a sixth sense about whether someone is telling the truth. This goes double for any psychological tests you may be given, because they are designed to detect malingering, lying, and other defense mechanisms.
Answer What is Being Asked
This means listening to the questions you are being asked. Do not make assumptions, and if you are unclear about anything the evaluator is asking you, do not be afraid to ask for clarification. If the answer is something you think the evaluator may not want to hear, then just be direct and sincere. Do not embellish or try to explain away the facts. Be frank about your strong and weak qualities as a parent, and concentrate on the strong ones. Admit any errors you think you have made when questioned about them, and display remorse. A child custody evaluation asks you to take an honest look at the circumstances of your family. With that said, make sure you do not provide extraneous information. If you are afraid there will be some issues that do not get covered, bring a short list with you. If the evaluator does not ask you about some of your concerns, ask them if it would be alright if you could discuss these with them. But remember, these are professional people, and their time is important. This is not a counseling session or a chance to vent. Continue reading