Divorce

Steps to Grieving a Divorce

November 28, 2021 | by The Law Offices Of Peter Van Aulen

Several divorce therapists and other experts have determined that there oftentimes are seven steps associated with grief and divorce. This is based on the long-used stages of grief and loss paradigm long used regarding death and dying and other losses. The seven steps or stages of grief and divorce are:

Denial
Pain
Anger
Bargaining
Guilt
Depression
Acceptance

Bear in mind that the seven stages of grief and divorce discussed here do not necessarily happen in the sequence in which they are presented in this article. In addition, there are instances in which a person may experience one of these states more than one time. It is also possible for a person to experience more than one of these stages simultaneously.

Denial

Typically, an initial stage experienced by some people (but not all) who face divorce is denial. A person in this stage cannot believe that his or her marriage is ending. Denial may be evident more often in the mind of the person who is being sued for divorce as opposed to the individual that filed the case. With that said, an individual who is the person who files a divorce complaint may also experience denial even if he or she initiated the marriage dissolution case in the first instance.

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The Challenges of a High-Asset Divorce and How to Handle Them

July 17, 2021 | by The Law Offices Of Peter Van Aulen

High-asset or high net worth divorces have historically been those in which more than $1 million in liquid assets are involved. Given the skyrocketing values of property in recent years, simply owning a modest home in certain cities may be enough to technically qualify as a high-asset divorce. However, the typical high-asset divorce today involves multi-million-dollar property ownership.

The issues in a high-asset divorce are the same as in any divorce. Property and debts must be divided, alimony may be considered, and where children are involved, child support, custody, and visitation need to be addressed. The issue that usually makes high asset divorces more difficult, costly, and time-consuming is property division.

Spouses in high net worth divorces may own multiple properties or businesses, have investments, intellectual property, stocks, retirement accounts, and valuable items of personal property such as artwork, furniture, jewelry, and vehicles. There may be issues involving deferred compensation, stock voting rights, and real estate or business partnerships that can prove difficult to sort out. Continue Reading →

Five Benefits of a No-Fault Divorce

April 25, 2021 | by The Law Offices Of Peter Van Aulen

In the United States, there are two different schemes through which a couple can obtain a divorced. These are a fault divorce and a no-fault divorce. A fault divorce requires a person seeking to end a marriage to demonstrate some type of “wrongdoing” (like adultery). A no-fault divorce doesn’t require a demonstration of wrongdoing. Rather, a person seeking a no-fault divorce typically must demonstrate irreconcilable differences, that the parties can no longer successfully live together as husband and wife. There are five important benefits associated with a no-fault divorce:

Designed to make divorce less emotionally charged
Crafted to be a faster way to pursue divorce
Intended to reduce costs associated with divorce
Enhances prospects for better communication between parties
Causes less stress for children

Designed to Make Divorce Less Emotionally Charged

Even a divorce considered “uncontested” has its share of emotions. When the need to prove some sort of fault in order to end a marriage is required, the level of emotions associated with a divorce naturally are apt to amp up.

One of the more important benefits associated with a no-fault divorce is that this type of marriage dissolution case has a greater possibility to be less emotionally charged. Ramped up emotions in a divorce case oftentimes results in parties making decisions based on their passions rather than reflective deliberation. In the end, intelligent, reflective, less emotional decision making in a divorce proceeding is to the ultimate benefit of both spouses. Continue Reading →

Five Signs Your Spouse is Hiding Assets in a Divorce

April 5, 2021 | by The Law Offices Of Peter Van Aulen

During the early stages of a divorce case, the parties to a marriage dissolution are required by law and order of the court to provide a verified listing of assets and debts. The parties must provide their respective list to the “opposing side” and file a copy with the court as well. A verified listing of assets and debts means that it is filed with the court under penalty of perjury. In New Jersey, this list of assets and debts are included in a Case Information Statement that is required to be filed with the court. Unfortunately, referenced to a perjury penalty sometimes is not sufficient to prevent a spouse in a divorce from filing an incomplete accounting of assets. There are five signs that your spouse may be hiding assets in a divorce case:

Spouse has a history of dishonesty when it comes to finances
Spouse has a history of keeping you in the dark regarding finances
Spouse owns a business
Spouse has made threats associated with property
Asset list provided by spouse appears incomplete

Spouse has a History of Dishonesty when it comes to Finances

You may be married to a person who has a history of being dishonest with you in regard to financial issues. The reality is that many divorces arise out of disputes associated with property and debts. If your spouse has an established track record of being less than transparent in regard to assets, you would be prudent to start from the position in your divorce case that your spouse’s asset disclosures are likely to be incomplete.

Spouse Has a History of Keeping You in the Dark Regarding Finances

In many marriages, one spouse plays a primary role in overseeing the couple’s finances. This may have been the proverbial natural state of your marriage. You were responsible for certain matters and your spouse for others, including finance management. Your spouse may not have been dishonest regarding finances in the past, you just were not fully involved with such matters. If your spouse kept you in the dark regarding financial matters during the marriage, that practice may carry forth into the divorce, when your spouse may have an eye on keeping a larger share of property than he or she is entitled. Continue Reading →

The Bachelorette Ashley Hebert Announces Her Divorce from Husband J.P. Rosenbaum

November 5, 2020 | by The Law Offices Of Peter Van Aulen

Marriages made for and on TV generally do not last, and one of the most successful media-created marriages will soon come to an end. The Bachelorette Ashley Hebert dated 25 men during the TV series in 2011. In the end, she chose J.P. Rosenbaum, and he proposed to her on the final series episode. In 2012, they were married during a two-hour television special.

In July 2014, they moved from New York to Miami after real estate entrepreneur Rosenbaum received a job offer. The couple has two children. Their son, Fordham, is 6 and a daughter, Essex, recently turned 4.

While the couple stayed out of the spotlight for the most part, in 2017 they appeared on Marriage Boot Camp, another TV reality show. At the time, Rosenbaum said, “We have small issues like every couple has.” Ashley added that the couple agreed to be on the show to improve their relationship “even more.”

They renewed their vows during a trip to Aruba in 2018. In late 2019, Rosenbaum was diagnosed with Guillain-Barre syndrome, an autoimmune disorder that damages nerves causing muscle weakness and, on occasion, paralysis. After months of therapy, he appears to have substantially recovered. Continue Reading →

10 Practical Steps in Preparing for Divorce

October 18, 2020 | by The Law Offices Of Peter Van Aulen

The emotions you feel when you know that your marriage is ending can be complicated and overwhelming. Money may be the last thing on your mind when you are going through something so traumatic. However, you must not delay taking steps to protect your financial interests when you are sure that your marriage is coming to an end. Here are ten steps to take when preparing for divorce.

Talk to an Attorney

The first thing that you should do is talk to an attorney. You may feel that legal advice will not be necessary because you believe that you and your spouse can sort things out between yourselves. However, a divorce can become acrimonious once the process has begun. So, it will be better to have an impartial adviser on your side to explain your rights and obligations.

Open a New Bank Account

If you have a joint account with your spouse, you should open a bank account in your sole name as soon as possible. Closing joint accounts may not be possible immediately because you will likely have regular payments that will still need to be met. Even so, joint accounts and joint credit cards should be closed as soon as practicably possible. Keeping joint accounts open may lead to your spouse running up debts for which you will both be liable. Continue Reading →

How to Face the Divorce Process with Confidence

September 27, 2020 | by The Law Offices Of Peter Van Aulen

Going through a divorce can be one of the most difficult things that you will ever experience in life. In addition to being consumed by feelings of anger, disbelief, and/or sadness, you must go through the stressful process of breaking up your marriage, family, and assets. While some couples can face divorce with civility and maturity, unfortunately that is not often the case. However, the most important thing for you is to face the divorce process with confidence to make sure that you come out on the other side a better, stronger person.

Understand Your Legal Rights

Facing the divorce process with confidence starts by understanding your rights. For example, your ex-spouse might want everything: the house, full custody of the kids, and more than their fair share of support. However, just because your ex wants those things, it does not mean that you are legally required to agree to all those terms. The best way to fully understand your rights, as well as your state’s divorce laws, is to consult with a divorce attorney.

Don’t Fall into Despair

While some marriages end amicably, most divorces are very painful. In addition to the couple splitting up, it can be quite painful for kids and other family members too. If your marriage ended unexpectedly, you might go through stages of denial and disbelief. Anger and guilt are other common feelings that people experience during a divorce as well. Even though these are normal feelings to have after a broken marriage, you want to make sure that your life does not fall into despair. Just because your marriage ends, does not mean that is the end of your life and happiness. Therefore, no matter how bad you feel, no matter how much you might feel like giving up, you must find reasons to live. If you have children, think about them. You can also look at your divorce to start over in life with a fresh perspective on things. Nothing will hurt your confidence worse than allowing yourself to fall into despair. Continue Reading →

Divorce Statistics in the United States

September 20, 2020 | by The Law Offices Of Peter Van Aulen

Since the early 1980s, the divorce rate in the U.S. has steadily declined. The long-held belief that at least 50% of marriages end in divorce is no longer true. Divorce Statistics collected in recent years by census reports, government and private studies and university research paint an interesting portrait of marriage and divorce in the United States.

Many states now have no-fault divorce laws. Spouses do not have to allege a specific reason for wanting a divorce other than having irreconcilable differences or that the marriage is irretrievably broken. However, some of the most common reasons that marriages fail include infidelity, addiction and abuse.

A majority of Americans claim that they would end their marriage if they discovered their spouse had cheated on them. Yet research shows that 50-60% of couples who have dealt with infidelity in their marriage found ways to overcome the issue and stay together.

Addictions may include, drugs, alcohol, porn, and gambling. A University of Buffalo study revealed that nearly 50% of couples divorced when only one partner drank heavily. Where partners had similar drinking habits, the divorce rate during the same period was 30%. Other research shows that if only one spouse smokes, a couple is 75-91% more likely to divorce. Continue Reading →

I Can’t Stand Being Stuck in the House With Him Anymore: Divorce and Coronavirus

May 3, 2020 | by The Law Offices Of Peter Van Aulen

Stay-at-home orders, job losses and strained finances resulting from the ongoing coronavirus pandemic have increased the stress on marriages across the globe. While one might think that increased time together would have been welcomed by partners whose busy lives kept them apart much of the time, just the opposite is proving true. Rising divorce rates and coronavirus limitations appear to be directly related in countries that are now easing restrictions.

Several cities in China reported a surge in divorce filings once government-ordered lockdowns were lifted. A lawyer in Turkey claims divorce filings increased fourfold in that country following the imposition of quarantine restrictions. Many U.S. family therapists and attorneys expect the same trend to occur in this country.

Marriage counselors commonly encourage spouses to allow each other the freedom to socialize with separate friends and pursue favorite personal activities. For example, one spouse may enjoy jogging with a small group of long-time friends while the other may look forward to weekend golf with buddies from the office. Being involved at work or school, enjoying a favored activity and maintaining casual relationships outside of marriage are important to a person’s mental and physical health. Continue Reading →

How to Create a Life After Divorce

July 14, 2019 | by The Law Offices Of Peter Van Aulen

Entry of final papers in a divorce frequently triggers a variety of emotions. There may be a feeling of relief at having survived the legal process. Even when divorce is uncontested there is often a feeling of sadness from officially ending a relationship that once was special. There should also be feelings of hope and optimism as you embark on a journey to create a life after divorce.

Creating your new life means letting go of the old. Harboring resentment from actions taken or things said during the divorce process will only hold you back. Now is the time move forward, to set new goals, welcome new experiences and to revive the dreams of what you once hoped to accomplish in life. Certainly, you may need time to grieve over the loss of your marriage, but also view this life change as an opportunity to rediscover and reinvent yourself.

Your new life will require attention to practical matters but should also allow you to enjoy activities that, while married, you may have deemed impractical. On the practical side, you need to change your will and, possibly, the named beneficiaries on your life insurance. Joint accounts should be closed. You may need to obtain your own health insurance. Review your budget and monthly expenses taking into consideration any spousal or child support you may pay or receive. This process may have begun while the divorce was pending, but a quick re-evaluation may prove worthwhile. Continue Reading →